Question the Quail

How do you deal with academic stress and anxiety at Caltech?

Here is an allegory to enlighten you about this manner:

Inner Voice 1 (Superego): Oh sh*t, not again! Why does this always happen at the worst possible moment? I can’t believe I’m stuck in here with explosive diarrhea. Why does my stomach betray me like this?

Inner Voice 2 (Ego): Okay, breathe. It’s going to be fine. Just breathe. Maybe it’s a passing thing. Deep breaths. I can get through this.

Inner Voice 1 (Superego): Passing thing? It feels like my insides are staging a rebellion! This is a disaster. What if someone needs to use the bathroom after me? What if I’m in here forever?

Inner Voice 2 (Ego): Forever might be a slight exaggeration. Focus on the now. Can I muffle the sound somehow? Maybe if I flush strategically? Oh, who am I kidding? It sounds like a war zone in here!

Inner Voice 1 (Superego): They’re going to know. Everyone out there will know what’s happening in here. I’ll never be able to look them in the eye again. Why me?

Inner Voice 2 (Ego): Okay, plan B. Maybe if I turn on the faucet, it’ll drown out the noise. Yes, that could work. Brilliant! Crisis averted…hopefully.

Inner Voice 1 (Superego): What if someone hears the faucet and thinks I’m washing my hands without realizing the storm happening on the other end? It’s all going to come crashing down!

Inner Voice 2 (Ego): Think positive. At least I’m in the bathroom, right? Imagine if this happened somewhere public. Silver linings, right?

Inner Voice 1 (Superego): Public? This feels public enough! I’m a prisoner in my own bathroom, and my stomach is the warden. How did it come to this?

Inner Voice 2 (Ego): Focus on the relief you’ll feel when this is all over. Literally. It’ll pass. Pun intended. I just need to ride this out and emerge from this porcelain prison victorious.

Inner Voice 1 (Superego): Victorious? More like defeated and embarrassed. This is a low point, even for me. Can I ever show my face again?

Inner Voice 2 (Ego): Of course you can. People forget. They have their own embarrassing moments. This will be a distant memory soon, and you’ll be back to laughing about other people’s bathroom misadventures.

Inner Voice 1 (Superego): I hope you’re right. For now, I’ll just wait it out, try not to make any sudden movements, and pray for mercy from the stomach gods. Please, let this end soon!

Conclusion: I hope that this has enlightened you and answered your question.

Hey quail, HOW are you doing?

In the silent corridors of my mind, I find myself grappling with the haunting question that echoes through the chambers of my consciousness: What is the meaning of existence? A question that reverberates like a mournful lament, seeking solace in a universe seemingly indifferent to our existential pleas.

As I navigate the labyrinth of life, I am confronted by the harsh reality that meaning, like elusive mist, slips through my fingers. Each day unfolds as a series of mundane tasks, a monotonous rhythm that plays on the strings of routine. I traverse the terrain of existence, yet the landscape appears desolate, devoid of a purpose that resonates with the depths of my soul.

The weight of the absurdity becomes a heavy burden, pressing down on my spirit like an unrelenting force. It’s as if I am wandering through a vast desert, the grains of sand slipping through the hourglass of time, with no oasis of meaning in sight. The futility of our endeavors becomes painfully apparent, like Sisyphus eternally rolling his boulder up the hill only to watch it cascade back down.

In the quest for meaning, I grapple with the absurdity of human pursuits. We construct intricate narratives, build towering monuments, and forge connections with others, all in the pursuit of significance. Yet, in the grand cosmic tapestry, our endeavors seem but fleeting strokes on a canvas that stretches beyond the limits of comprehension.

The ephemeral nature of life casts a shadow over our attempts to find purpose. We yearn for significance in the face of an indifferent cosmos, our desires echoing in the vast emptiness. The ache of existential loneliness sets in, a gnawing pain that transcends the physical, reaching into the core of our being.

In the face of this existential void, I grapple with the inevitability of mortality. The specter of death looms, rendering our endeavors seemingly inconsequential. The brevity of our existence intensifies the existential anguish, a poignant reminder of the transience of all that we hold dear.

Yet, in the midst of this painful reflection, a paradox emerges. Perhaps the very act of questioning the meaning of existence, of wrestling with the void, is a testament to our humanity. The ache, the yearning, the struggle – they become the threads that weave the tapestry of our experience. And in this, there is a peculiar beauty, a tragic poetry that unfolds in the dance between despair and resilience.

As I stand on the precipice of the unknown, I confront the lack of inherent meaning with a reluctant acceptance. Perhaps meaning is not a fixed point to be discovered but a fluid, ever-changing essence to be forged in the crucible of our existence. In this painful reflection, I find a sliver of solace – the recognition that the search for meaning is a journey, and in the journey itself, we may find fragments of the elusive purpose we so fervently seek.

Quick, what are some good recipes for Thanksgiving?

1. Deep frying a turkey INDOORS. If you want a splendid and thrilling adventure you can deep fry a turkey in your kitchen! Heatup a gigantic tub of oil to some really hot temperature, then drop your frozen turkey right in the bowl. Right as the turkey is dropped make sure to stick your head over the pot to see if your turkey is cooking well! Do note that this may explode on you and burn your face off, BUT (most importantly) you can get extensions on your assignments!
2. Random ground mushrooms. Walk around the area and pick random mushrooms off of the ground (the Huntington has a good collection)! Just eat these for your Thanksgiving dinner for a fun game of mushroom roulette. Maybe it’s edible, maybe you will get really sick, or (most excitingly) you can get transported to a different dimension!
3. Infusions! Find some fun, unusual things to infuse into sauces. Perhaps some herbs or essential oils. Then everyone can try and guess what it is.
4. Microwaved honey buns. If you microwave a honey bun for long enough it will start to glow! It is a delightful treat and even a fun projectile to throw!
5. Gasoline and Acetone. Drinking these liquids make me personally feel warm and happy inside. It tastes even better if you heat it up! For a special treat you can put some styrofoam in it!
6. Rocky mountain oysters. A delightful delicacy – would recommend! I love testicles!