Humor

Coming out of retirement once again, Miyazaki’s latest film The Boy and the Heron is wonderfully filled with themes of love, grief, and accepting change.

Well, you see, the stork union is a bit outdated, and the cabbage patch had to close down due to budget cuts. So, in today’s modern world, babies have found a new, unconventional origin – the Mongolian Grill. It turns out that after consuming a delightful feast at a Mongolian Grill, the body undergoes a magical transformation.

PASADENA, CA — In a based and green-pilled display of social responsibility, the California Institute of Technology reported its first year of carbon neutrality since 1898, according to a press release issued by the CalTech Sustainability Council on Monday.

Introduction: In the dystopian world of Panem, where each choice defines destinies and the division between good and evil is blurred more often than not, “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” dives into the core conflicts present in the entire Hunger Games franchise.

Q: “I’m stumped on what to get for my significant other who seems to have everything. Any unique gift ideas that show thoughtfulness?”

How do you deal with academic stress and anxiety at Caltech?

Q Help! The triangle man is after me! What do i do? -Pythagoras A Did you eat those mystery berries again? Have you considered that the triangle man is not real and it may just be the mystery berries, you moron??? Ugh, but I guess its too late for that. Here’s what you can do now since you can’t stop eating these berries:

Art, Comics, Photos - October 17

Q I’m a grad student looking for club funding. How do I go about applying for money? -Madeline Hatter A Simple! Just follow this 4-step plan:

After arriving at Caltech, one of the first things I noticed about the campus once I finally had time to wander around was that, from what I could tell, this place lacked a consistent architectural style. There’s a mix of Spanish-style architecture like Beckman Institute, more modern-looking buildings like Chen, and silly guys like the Beckman Hall (and also ugly ass ones like Downs-Lauritsen). This mixing of styles continues inside, with some buildings like Bridge keeping their old-fashioned style but Gates-Thomas deciding to modernize. That’s all neat and cool, but it goes a little further than what you see walking up and down the halls. The place I noticed these tiny details is a sacred place where you have time to yourself, a place free of distraction, a place of relief: the bathroom.

Click here to read the comment: https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/caltech-adventures/cowtech/viewer?title_no=875189&episode_no=1

An advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

Of course none of this matters because you’re reading it online.

On Wednesday, June 7, 2023 at 2:12 p.m., Caltech undergraduates received the following email: Caltech Notification System This Timely Warning Bulletin is being issued in compliance with the Jeanne Clery Act. The purpose is to provide preventative information to the campus community to aid members from becoming the victim of a crime. Summary: On June 7, 2023, at around 7:30 a.m., while unlocking the Tournament Park parking lot, south of the Braun Athletic Center, Caltech Security officers observed a red Chevy utility van parked in the parking lot.

Dear Quail, In your holy infinite wisdom, can you answer the question: Is Caltech worth it? Best, A.S. Muncher

The Writers Guild of America (WGA) is currently on strike. The last time this happened was in 2008 and lasted around 2 months.

Joe interviews Doris, a 87-year-old very accomplished bike thief.

A new advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

The unprecedented high level of freshman enrollment has spurred a housing shortage on the Caltech campus. Therefore, we propose the following locations as new options for undergraduate housing:

A new advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

A new advice column about life, love, classes, and everything in between! Brought to you by the one and only California Tech.

Well folks, let me tell you something just awful and terrible that the stupid FRICKS at Ricketts Hovse have been hiding. Gerard Decker (’26, Ricketts), a fantastic guy, a really great guy, was robbed, yes robbed, of becoming the Unilateral Excomm of Ricketts Hovse.

I’ll make no bones about it. The Super Mario Bros. Movie was easily the most anticipated movie of the year, if not the last decade.