Michael Gutierrez

Frequent passersby of southwest campus will have noticed a recent shift in the landscape along Wilson Avenue. Large areas of grass have turned brown and crispy, in apparent contrast with the springtime bloom of the surroundings (Figure 1). While it may look unsightly now, this is only the first step in a multi-year project by the Caltech Facilities department to restore this land’s original, natural beauty. ![Figure 1. Photo credit: Michael Gutierrez](https://xguzskbxiptvhbyggkpl.supabase.co/st

When I took over the Tech Editorship in April 2023, I only knew one thing about journalism: it was going to stop happening at Caltech unless somebody stepped up to lead it. With a dream of remedying the post-pandemic admin-student animosity but zero reporting experience, I was in for a daunting task. Then Richard Kipling emailed me and offered to buy me a coffee. After a storied career at the L.A. Times, Kip came to Caltech in the early 2010s as an adjunct professor of English. His purpos

This is going to be an exercise in writing, in word vomiting, for me. I don’t have any clear idea of the scope of this piece, nor how much I’ll revise it in between typing these words and you reading them, but we have to start somewhere. The vaguely-uniformed “random inspection" officer gatekeeping the security checkpoint at the Venice airport asked me and Sarah what we did in Europe for—how long had we been traveling?—72 days. ![Our travels around the continent.](https://xguzskbxiptvhbyggkp

December 9, 2024 At approximately 05:00, Pasadena Police approached a group of students working on a radar project for an electrical engineering class outside on South Holliston Ave. The students explained and demonstrated their project, and the police moved on. At 06:30, a student in Dabney House saw security with flashlights taking lots of pictures and moving around things in Dabney Backyard, primarily on the ground by the greenhouse. At 06:53, security began searching the trash cans insi

At the beginning of the fall term, the Caltech Pond Bridge was transformed by artist Lita Albuquerque into a gold foil installation — the largest she has made to date — dubbed This Moment in Time. It’s part of a larger art exhibit at Caltech called Crossing Over: Art and Science at Caltech. Presented as part of the Getty’s PST ART: Art & Science Collide program, Crossing Over spans six distinct indoor and outdoor venues on Caltech’s campus, featuring an array of scientific drawings, painti

The Committee on House Assessment, Support, and Experience (CHASE) was formed in Spring 2023 and “charged by the Vice President for Student Affairs Kevin Gilmartin to develop strategic recommendations to ensure that the undergraduate houses remain supportive living and learning environments, where current and future Caltech students can thrive and succeed,” according to an email sent to undergraduates last spring. The Committee was composed of current students, faculty, staff, and alumni. As par

I don’t know if I’m just (un)lucky, but it feels quite often that I come across a broken sprinkler head gushing concerning amounts of water onto the adjacent sidewalk. I saw two within 30 minutes of each other in different places on campus last week. Every time, I wonder how long it’s gone unnoticed (or unaddressed). Fortunately for my easily-pacified conscience, “

On Sunday, October 6th around 10:30pm, a fire was reported in the Keck Engineering Laboratories. The building was evacuated, fire extinguished, and no injuries reported. A burst sprinkler pipe caused flooding of all floors 2 and below, resulting in significant water damage. According to the Caltech Notification System, the building will remain closed until further n

Background The Center for Technology and Management Education (CTME) is a relatively unknown subdivision of Caltech’s Department of Engineering and Applied Sciences. According to their website, the purpose of the CTME is to “elevate individuals and organizations, fostering innovation and driving transformative growth.” To this end, they claim to offer the “best programs and courses” through their “rewarding, practical, and economical approach to professional education.” Most of these progra

A brief, abridged recapitulation of the events of this academic year, in very rough chronological order. Enjoy! The Tech published the Rotation schedule for the first time since 2019. SPECTRE library’s famous life size ‘Anakin’ figure was found in the dumpster outside Fleming House. Blacker House’s potato cannon and two of Ricketts House’s traditional ‘skits’ were banned from Rotation. The “Question the Quail” column and other satire content in the Tech continued to irk campus administ

*Editor’s note: This is the text of a 35,000-word manifesto as submitted to The California Tech by the serial ditch day faker and alarmist known as Jeff. The text was sent in May 2024 to The California Tech by the person who calls himself “GTBF,” identified by the OSE as Jeff, whom authorities have implicated in three counts of Engaging students at hours that prevent a full night of sleep and 16 **Engaging students in activities without information about what is going to happen to them or du

Last Monday, President Rosenbaum announced a reorganization of the Student Affairs division. The changes were recommended in the final report from a Visiting Committee on Student Affairs, who were invited by the Institute to evaluate the division in February. The committee was composed of higher education professionals and student affairs leadership from a variety of peer institutions and companies such as MIT, Harvard, Carnegie Mellon, Harvey Mudd, Pfizer, and Polaris. During their visit, the o

In the previous issue of the Tech, we published a private letter that ~150 professors wrote to President Rosenbaum. The letter, which was not intended to be shared outside the faculty, expressed dissatisfaction with recent undergraduates’ academic performance and argued to end the Admissions Office’s standardized testing moratorium. Our purpose in publishing the letter was to ensure that students were included in this conversation, because it was clear that the faculty had no intention of doi

Editors’ Note: this article will be updated throughout the day as events unfold. Last updated: Tuesday, April 30 10:00am: According to an Instagram post by @caltechsjp, Caltech students plan to hold a peaceful protest about the ongoing Israel-Palestine conflict to take place Monday April 29th 10:30am–12:00pm. The protest is taking the form of a silent sit-in on the lawn of the Center for Student Services (CSS) building on Holliston Avenue. ![Link to Instagram post](https://xguzsk

Last week, nostrils throughout Venerable House were greeted by the penetrating stench of sewage. Some feared that this was a new manifestation of “The Smell” which plagued the South Hovses for several months last year. Fortunately, the cause was localized to a single plumbing leak, which was quickly fixed by Housing staff. According to Venerable House Steward Shrishti Kulkarni, Housing expects any residual odors to fully dissipate by the end of this week. In unrelated news, a family of skunks w

Given recent discourse and proliferation of misinformation regarding the undergraduate fall housing lottery process, the Tech spoke to Interhouse Committee (IHC) Chair Evan Portnoi to clarify some important points. The following is based on information obtained from the IHC, the April 25 email from Vice President of Student Affairs Kevin Gilmartin, and the Housing Office website ([https://housing.caltech.edu/undergrads/housing-contract-lottery/undergrad-lottery-process](https://housing.caltech

Imagine having a beaver as a mascot. Completely ridiculous. Last week, in collaboration with Caltech’s Prank Fund and Senior Director of Student Activities Tom Mannion, the Tech flew a team of highly trained journalists and deliverypeople to Cambridge, MA

In an utterly unsurprising display of apathy, Caltech students left the Olive Walk littered with displaced chairs and tables in the wake of ASCIT Formal ticket sales on Monday evening. A copy of the Honor Code Handbook was found discarded next to the Fleming Cannon, damp and covered with footprints of line cutters.

The Tech recently received an anonymous tip warning of a secret plan by H_____ M___, which may already be in progress, to steal the Caltech Beaver. Very little is known about H_____ M___; all attempts by Tech reporters to ascertain their true identity seem to be met with a powerful amnestic force. The only piece of evidence that was approved for print by Caltech’s Infohazard Repression Bureau (IRB) was a photograph of a bulletin board detailing what appear to be the fruits of a reconnaissanc

Last Saturday at 11:22am, Regular Decision acceptance letters went out to Caltech’s Class of 2028. Quick facts: Caltech received approximately 13,000 total applications for Class of 2028, comparable to Class of 2027’s 13,136 applications. This is the fourth undergraduate class since Caltech stopped accepting SAT/ACT scores. This is the second year since Caltech switched to Restrictive Early Action (REA). The total number of students accepted into the Class of 2028 has not been announc

Reality is usually stranger than fiction. As a member of the Generation “Zoomer,” I habitually inundate my hopelessly instant gratification addicted brain with an astonishing amount of content, which means it’s exceedingly difficult to surprise me. So when I entered Dabney Lounge on Friday night, utterly and thoroughly burned out after a long day of frantically grinding a problem set (AND scrambling to make this issue of the Tech happen), I wasn’t expecting much from the experience. And I was

President, Provost, VPSA Convene Faculty Advisory Committee on Undergraduate Admissions Policy Michael Gutierrez, Lilia Arrizabalaga, Mahak Mathur | News In the wake of a petition to President Thomas Rosenbaum signed by more than 140 faculty members, the Institute has moved to form a committee for evaluating current admissions standards as predictors of success at Caltech. The Context In Spring 2020, due to the exacerbated inequity of access to standardized testing during the pandem

This is two-years-old news by now, because the Tech wasn’t publishing much in 2021. But I feel it’s an important story to document nevertheless. It was Fall Term, 2021 — the first term back on campus since COVID, and the first term ever on campus for both freshmen and sophomores. We all have our “Typical Frosh L” moments during our first terms at Caltech. Some people drink too much at

There has been a lot of buzz about the vague spectre of “admin” banning undergraduate house events, both during and outside Rotation this year. In continuing this discussion between tradition and inclusivity, the Tech interviewed Dr. Kevin Gilmartin, Vice President for Student Affairs, to get his perspective on the matter. Our conversation focused on two specific issues: Blacker Hovse’s Potato Cannon, and Ricketts Hovse’s Rotation Dinner Skits. Blacker’s Potato Cannon, built for a Ditch Day s

INTRODUCTION In mid-October, the Caltech Undergraduate Admissions Office held their annual Caltech Up Close (CUC) event. This year the program accepted 194 high school seniors, nearly double the 103 present the previous year. According to the Undergraduate Admissions website, the program is designed for “students of exceptional promise and will focus on the experiences of students from historically underserved backgrounds in STEM.” Selected participants have opportunities to “Explore Calte

PASADENA, CA — In a based and green-pilled display of social responsibility, the California Institute of Technology reported its first year of carbon neutrality since 1898, according to a press release issued by the CalTech Sustainability Council on Monday. “It wasn’t an easy transition. We all had to acknowledge our privilege and make sacrifices,” said Simone Delgado, the transient who lives in the spare closet in Arms Laboratory. “But as much as I miss devouring the copious amounts of leftove

PASADENA, CA — It was June 2021. Caltech was preparing to welcome students back to campus for the first time since the pandemic, and tensions were high. Needless to say, these were Unprecedented Times. For incoming frosh and their families, most of whom had never had the opportunity to visit Caltech before committing, the next few months looked especially uncertain. Questions like “Will I have to sleep in a different place every day for rotation?” “When do I register for classes?” and “Will my a

EDITORIAL: Fizz Continues to Assert Control Michael Gutierrez A couple months ago, on the front page of my very first issue of the Tech as Editor-in-Chief, I ran an article titled ‘Fizz Asserts Control’. This was meant to be a hilarious callback to previous years’ “April Fools” issues of the Tech. In 2019 there was ‘Joe Shepherd Asserts Control’, featuring an arc

Caltech Students: Please fill out the IHC’s feedback forms about Housing and Rotation before July 1st, 2023! thanks :) When the news broke that 271 students committed to Caltech for the Class of 2027, current students and faculty panicked. How would Caltech accommoda

Just 30 minutes out from Las Vegas, under a brilliant blue sky, a ragtag group of Caltechers crawled out of their tents, took a deep breath of fresh, natural air, and realized they felt more alive than ever. It really is amazing how much your mood lifts when you leave campus for a day! This was Red Rock Canyon, Nevada, the site of the Caltech Alpine Club’s latest organized outing